Letting Go

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

I have been holding a hand of cards so close because I think that they are a good hand but forgetting what that hand is or even the game I am playing. It is time for those cards to move away from my chest and it scares me. What if those cards are actually shit? What if I have been wasting my time and energy? What if they are as good as they get and they are not enough? What if I am playing the wrong game and the cards are meaningless? So I move them back to my chest even closer.

It is safer this way.

It is soul destroying.

I deserve more than this game, this illusion of safety.

I can’t even remember why I am playing it, but I feel like I have been told it is a good thing to play, to conform, to not stand out. But is it?

I don’t want to hold those cards anymore as they are an illusion that is keeping me stuck and stagnant and not doing the stuff I am meant to be doing. Those cards represent a standard that has been thrust upon me when I never wanted to play the game. It does not suit me, my talents, my gifts, the things I love and value.

Can I stop playing? Am I allowed to stop and move onto something meaningful to me?

It is scary to do something new and different.  Do I have the courage?

Then I remember.

I am loved.  I am powerful. I am supported. The Universe always has my back.  My differences are my strengths.

I have done things differently before and it was amazing.  This fear is an illusion and it can’t actually kill me. I thank the fear for doing it’s job of keeping me safe, but I remind fear that I am the one living this life and I choose greater, to be seen, to be heard to be me,  to be excited about what is next.  So I lift those cards away, having faith that I am taken care of. I don’t look at the cards, knowing that they are not what I want or need or even exist.

I realise as my hands are now free that I have not been able to receive anything new, because my hands have been taken up with an ideal that is less than I deserve.  Those hands have been covering my heart out of protection, but I want to feel. I want to connect to that magical amazing place within. This is my power.  This is my beauty. This is amazing.

I can start to feel the energy and abundance start to flow again.

Oh I remember this.

I am loved. I am loving.

No fear. Courage and a commitment to myself. I am worthy, even if sometimes I forget how extraordinary I am. It is time to remember. Time to bank myself.  I allow. I receive.  I accept. I am grateful. I am magnificent and so are you.

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