The Inner Critic

Years ago I was in New Zealand, at a place called Lake Taupo. I decided to go bungee jumping. I was all strapped up in the harness and was standing on the platform ready to jump.

Leading up to this moment my inner critic had been screaming at me to not do it. It was saying lots of crap things, like you are too big for this, people will know how big you truly are and be disgusted by you, people are going to laugh at you and make fun of you, what will people say!, you have too many old sporting injuries, only athletic people do crazy shit like this and blah blah blah.

It was awful.

The things is though, underneath all the bullshit, I knew it was right and safe for me to do it.

I knew it was something I had to do.

I was at the precipice.

There was this moment before I jumped, that looking back I realised I could have chosen to jump or back out. Both would have taken the same amount of energy. That’s right in that moment, both options would have taken the exact same effort.

To walk away would have been an effort and required energy.

To jump would have taken effort and required energy.

Then I decided and everything was clear.

No thoughts.

I jumped.

It was an amazing feeling, free falling and seeing everything. It helped it was a beautiful location.

It was a truly awesome feeling and such a natural high, that I felt all that day.

If I had chosen to listen to my inner critic and backed away and went back to the car, that would have been ok, but I would have missed out on a really awesome experience, that nothing I have done in my life before or since has felt like.

The crappy things my inner critic was saying was not a good enough reason for not jumping.

I had researched the safety of Bungee jumping and the company. It was in NZ where the safety standards are high. I knew that it was safe for me, but I also knew the risks and was willing to give it a go. All the other things it was saying was part of my own insecurities being used against me, but they were all irrelevant.

I didn’t care what anyone else thought of me, as jumping was more important to me. Nobody knew me and in a few days’ time I was getting on a plane back to Melbourne.

But here is the thing.

Everyone was so nice and supportive. They were excited for me to be doing it. They loved that I was brave enough to do it! If they were judging me, I never felt it. It was something that I could not control anyway nor was there judgement about me any of my business.

I showed up.

I jumped and it was amazing!

I’m glad I did not let that voice win and be the boss. I have used that experience since to remind myself how brave I am and i can do anything that I choose to do.

Is it time that you challenged your inner Critic?

Always remember

You truly are magnificent.

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