Many years ago I met a women who was proud that she was a really positive person. It was one of the very first things she said to me. She wore it like a badge of honour and looked down on people who were negative and believed that by not acknowledging the negative that it did not exist.
The funny thing is though, she didn’t really act like she was happy, nor positive other than the words she spoke. Being sensitive, I could feel her energy and she was not radiating joy and happiness. In fact her energy wasn’t positive at all.
I got talking to her and she shared that her father had recently passed away. I asked her how she was. At first she started sprouting all the cliché positive stuff when someone passes. I touched her on the shoulder and I made a comment that yes, even though those sentiments are all true, it is still sad when someone you love passes on and the human part of us feels really sad when that happens and it is ok to feel that grief.
She broke down.
She hadn’t allowed herself to grieve, because of this positive bullshit belief she had going on. She used positivity as a shield, a brick wall, as she thought that she couldn’t get hurt and she wouldn’t have to feel.
When we don’t allow ourselves to feel any negative emotions, we call it bypassing.
This is not a healthy response for many reasons.
When crappy things happen, if we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling and rather stuff the emotions down (often using things like food, drugs, alcohol, sex, excessive exercise etc) we suppress the emotions. This does not mean that those emotions do not exist. The body and unconscious are storing these emotions, until a time when you are either ready to deal with them, or you are forced to deal with them. Something happens that all those suppressed emotions come up. Often this something is totally unrelated and can be quite minor or it can be a big thing that seems even bigger because of the underlying issues.
Everybody suppresses emotions.
Many are supressing because they don’t want to feel.
We spend so much time and energy trying to not feel.
We are terrified of our emotions, because we may feel out of control, they often feel so big and overwhelming and many have not been encourage to express their emotions as children, so they have no idea how to feel them as adults.
When we do not want to feel the negative, we also don’t feel the positives as deeply either.
We can become numb and life losses its colour.
Here is the thing.
The quicker you feel it, the quicker it moves through you and dissipates and you can move on.
When you feel it and it moves through you, you do not store it negatively in your body, as it has already been expressed.
We need to stop judging our emotions and start seeing them as a guidance system and start to allow ourselves to feel them.
Now I am not suggesting that you have a pity party and wallow around in your negative crap and wear that shit like a jacket of negativity. That is far from helpful. It is ok to feel the emotion, without judgement, let it move through your body and then you are able to move into higher states of being this way.
The only way is through.
Our emotions are beautiful.
Our emotions are powerful.
Our emotions allow us to shift our consciousness.
We are emotional beings and our emotions are a gift.
If you need help with your emotional intelligence or baggage, book a session and lets start getting you back to centre and in your power.
You truly are magnificent.