You are the one you have been waiting for

When I settle for less than I deserve, the collective settles.

When I accept crappy behaviour, then the collective shows me crappy behaviour.

When I raise my own personal standards, the collective rises too.

When I have great boundaries as an individual, the collective has better boundaries.

When I focus on truth, the collective reveals the truth.

When I heal my trauma and my wounds, the collective heals.

When I raise my vibration and frequency, the collective rises.

When I love myself and those around me, the collective fills with love.

When I own my power, the collective is more powerful.

This is how it works.

This is how powerful you are!

If you are wanting change in the world, then you get to create that change.

You dream it.

You feel it.

You breathe it.

You action it.

You do the work.

You are the one you have been waiting for.

Exciting times are here.

You truly are magnificent.

Lessons learnt behind closed doors.

Before the hard lockdown, in between the lockdowns, here in Melbourne, I had a kinesiology session. I always walk my talk and I had some stuff come up around friendships and my feelings around that.  During this session I had to look at some beliefs around living my life and what that means to me, who I want in it, how I want to be treated, what I want to do etc.  

It came up during the session that for me, I was more afraid of not being able to live my life on my terms then death.

So the loom of a hard lockdown did not go down well.

It literally felt like dying.

This session helped so much, both in how I managed lockdown and clarity around what freedom meant to me and my life.

One of the things I identified and actioned to help me move forward was how I wanted to feel each day. By tuning into my inner guidance, asking myself the question and doing what my inner wisdom told me to do, I took back my power. I was fully responsible for what my day looked and felt like, what I was being, and doing. It felt so much better than being a victim to outside circumstances.

You see I get to decide how I want to feel each day, so How did I want to go about me day.   

Freedom comes from within me, and not be any government or media outlet.

Most days it was to bring joy, to feel light and free and allow the sunshine or the light in each day.

I asked my inner guidance how I could bring in the joy each day.

What did that look like?

It varied each day and sometimes moment to moment. Here are some of the things that I did and have continued to do.

Reading a book on my front step in the sunshine and seeing and connecting with people walking past.

A coffee purchased from a local coffee shop made by lovely people.

Certain foods for lunch.

Doing a jigsaw puzzle.

Knitting a few squares of my scrapping blanket.

Ringing or catching up with friends on zoom.

Colouring in.

Listening to something on Youtube, playing my favourite music or song or watching a movie.

Going for a walk.

Journaling.

Meditating.

Having a bath.

It was surprising how simple some of those things were that gave me so much joy.

One of the best lessons I have learnt coming out the other end of lockdown is that identifying how my attitude and perspective around everything is where my power lies. I can choose in any given moment, how I want to feel, what something means to me and changing my view on that thing if I need or choose to. It means allowing myself to be in my power to be me fully and unapologetically. I can make something mean something or nothing.

It felt so freeing.

That by being me and shining my light brightly out into the world, whatever I am doing, is the most important thing for me to do.

Not water myself down.

Not censoring myself.

Not making myself less than the bloody amazing human being that I am.

Not allowing shitty stories and thoughts dictate who I am and how I interact with people.

Being the shiniest version of me I can be.

Do you know what gives you joy or things you can do to help you feel the way you want to feel?

What a fantastic education this life is and in particular 2020.

What a time to be alive.

Always remember.

You truly are magnificent.

You are immensely valuable.

I have been seeing a lot of people posting about using this physical distancing time on self-development, bettering themselves and using the time wisely.

Essentially replacing our previous busyiness into a new busyiness,

There has been a belief that busy and doing equated to being valuable. Now that we are not as busy and our lives have slowed down, the external markers of validation are simpler not there.

So to prove our worth, to be valuable, we must improve ourselves right?

The thing is that at the moment our nervous system and flight/fight response maybe doing weird things.

We may be struggling with concentration, have trouble sleeping, got no motivation and or feeling fearful.

There is 2 markers that have an impact in traumatic experiences

  1. The feeling of not being able to escape.
  2. Not being able to work out or make sense of something.

Both of those are currently happening in most people lives.

We are learning how to BE versus how to DO.

We are being invited to break the belief of needing external validation and learning to value and embrace our being.

If you are loving self-development, have high motivation, have creative ideas and being innovative, fantastic! Keep on going.

If you aren’t or know someone who isn’t, please be kind.  Don’t feel ashamed or bad that you are not feeling it. Sitting and watching TV or reading a book is also valuable.

You are immensely valuable.

You truly are magnificent.

Anger and Grief

Many I have spoken to are feeling a combination of anger and grief.

Anger at the injustice of the virus and the changes forced upon us.

Anger at the poor communication and leadership at the head of our country.

Anger at the messages that the economy is more important than human lives.

Anger at some people not being responsible and putting others in danger and the disregard for our fellow human beings.

Anger at the loss of businesses, jobs, salary and wages and security.

So much anger.

Then along comes grief.

Grief around the changes forced upon us.

Grief at the realisation of how much of an illusion we were under.

Grief on being isolated and away from friends and family.

Grief for a loss of routine and the way we were living.

Grief at the loss of our perceived safety and security.

Grief of not knowing what is next.

These type of feeling and emotions are the ones that we usually try really hard not to engage in. 

They are so uncomfortable.

Now we are being forced to slow down and to start listening and processing these emotions.

This is not a bad thing, even though it may feel really terrible at the moment.

We are feeling angry because we feel out of control and frustrated.

We are feeling grief to release what we no longer need.

Whatever you are feeling is ok. It is going to change throughout the day. Allow and accept how you are feeling.

It is in the resistance that we start to suffer.

If you need to cry, cry.

If you need to yell, then yell into a pillow.

If you need to vent, then vent.

If you need to move your body, move your body.

If you need to sit with it, then sit.

We are being asked to self soothe and not many people know how to do this, so start by being kind to yourself.

When you are ready, some self-reflection is a great way to move through the emotions and to gain wisdom.

Anger is an opportunity. Anger means that you are not understanding something.

Look at where and what you are angry about and see if there is an opportunity.

What are you not understanding?

Could you do something like write to your local MP, start a side business that you have been dreaming about for years, reach out and help a neighbour?

Grief needs to be processed by you alone and at your own time.

Some self-reflection questions for this could be

What am I needing or ready to let go of?

What is the lesson here for me?

The quicker we can move to acceptance, the quicker we can end our own suffering and be able to move forward in a calmer and more relaxed manner.

As always remember,

You truly are magnificent.

The base chakra and online sessions

We are living with lots of unknowns at the moment, which has been and is really uncomfortable for many.  

Most people’s base chakra’s are being triggered. The base chakra is situated at the base of the spine, and is related to survival and existence and is connected to our flight/fight response and the adrenal glands.

This is where primal fears are felt.  Fears like death, the dark, unknowns, getting sick, end of the world etc. It is also the base of our power.

At the moment, many are scared and feeling they have no power, which is triggering their flight/fight response.  Those primal fears are being felt collectively.

Most will do anything to not feel uncomfortable at normal times, but the current environment is forcing many to sit in this discomfort. 

This is a positive thing.

I am already hearing of people looking at their current life and work situations, as it is not working for them and making changes to something more aligned to the way they want to live.

Many are waking up and having to address their fears and emotions and challenging their belief systems, because it is literally in their faces.

Many are waking up to what is truly important to them.

Many are working out how to do life differently, often getting back to basics.

Many are having to take responsibility for themselves on all levels of their being, connecting them to the freedom of choice and how they want to live.

Many are waking up to how powerful they are.

For me, I am having to step even more into my power and the way I know I need to be working, slowing down and truly connecting within, reaching out to people in different ways and taking the many opportunities that have already presented to me.

To help with the feeling of being uncomfortable, get outside and ground your energy. This is free and safe, as long as you keep in mind “social-distancing” if at a public park. Sit outside, lay down on the grass, walk without shoes on the earth, and consciously connect to the earth and the sun. 

Don’t forget that Vitamin D is crucial for our immune systems and moods.

The more grounded we are the more balanced our Base chakra becomes.

If you are needing and wanting extra support, I am still seeing 1:1 clients in my clinic and I am now offering zoom sessions for those who are not in a position to see me due to location or isolation.

I am working on new sessions, packages, workshops to help you through these unknown times.

As always,

You truly are Magnificent.

Donella

Be Curious

In sessions this week judgement has come up a lot.

I have challenged people, rather than judging something, can they get curious instead.

When we are curious rather than judging, the energy is lighter and we can ask some good quality questions about what is happening.

For example, if you are getting anxious about a social situation you have to attend, start getting curious.  You could ask yourself some questions.

What am I scared of in this situation?

How is my insecurities showing themselves right now?

Where in my body am I feeling anxious?

When else have I felt like this?

What else could it mean?

How can I help myself right now?

Observe your thinking and your thoughts. No doubt the monkey mind will be playing up. 

Get curious.

Is this thought real? (Pstt the answer to this is usually no!)

Is this thought a true reflection of what is actually going on, or am I dragging my past into the present or am I making something into a drama?

Is this thought healthy for me?

Is it adding value or stopping me in my life?

Don’t fight the thoughts, but observe them.

Get curious.

You can say next in your head and choose another thought. You could say an affirmation that is positive.  You may need to move your body to change the energy.

This give you back your power.

So rather than judging something as bad, get curious without the judgement. You might learn something about yourself you didn’t know before.

You truly are magnificent.

Trust

Trust has been a theme in clinic over the last few weeks and we have had lots of discussions around what trust means and feels like.

I have often heard from clients that they have trust issues and it is something that I used to say too. 

Trust is something that needs to be built.

This is why when it is broken it can be so devastating. It takes time.

Trust is something that we feel and build within.

I heard a great analogy of trust used recently. You wouldn’t step out onto a bridge that is made of a twig. You can tell by looking at it that it will not hold you.  So you build that bridge up with larger logs and maybe some planks of wood or other materials to make it strong, until you look at it and it feels right. You then step up and you make the first step, testing it first, then adding more pressure until you can step fully onto it. You build trust in the bridge until you don’t even have to think about it, you know it feels right.

If you had stepped out onto that twig in the first place, even though your intuition was saying no, and you feel off and hurt yourself, how can you say that you have trust issues?

And yet this is what so many of us do.

Most of our trust issues are actually our lack of trust of ourselves. This then flows onto lacking trust in our relationships and the universe.

We can build trust within.

Do you check in to your own wisdom or do you go externally for your answers?

Even when other people are saying that you should be doing something that would be good for you, if you know in your gut and in your heart that it is not for you, then walk away, say No and own your decision.

You don’t need to know why, you only have to trust it.

You do not have to justify yourself and your decisions.

It is no one else’s business but your own.

I have listened to other people in the past, rather than my own intuition. I defaulted to their advice rather than listening to my own intuition, because they know better, right?

Or I didn’t listen to my intuition, because my logical brain was saying this is a great opportunity and other people are doing it, so it must be good for me too. 

I followed my logic, which is often linked to my fear programs instead of my intuition. 

It didn’t end well. 

I then got angry for not trusting myself and backing those feelings.

What a great lesson to have though!

Now that I know better, I honour my intuition and follow it.  I challenge my fear and insecurities and don’t let them dictate my decisions, or hide behind logic.  I have built trust within myself, so that now I know that I can trust the universe and those around me, because my intuition is going to let me know when something is wrong and I will follow it.

I trust myself and I trust the universe completely.

It is OK to go against others opinions. It is OK to do things your way, even when nobody else understands it.

You may not even understand it at the time, and that it ok too!

It is a must to trust those feelings, as that is how trust is built.

It is your life and you get to choose how you live it.

Is it time to trust yourself? 

You are truly magnificent.

Perception of failure and quitting.

I’m no quitter

Failure isn’t an option.

I hate to fail.

Quitting is for the weak.

Bullshit!

Our fear of failure and perception of quitting often means we stay in shit situations, crap relationships and friendships, jobs etc for far too long that is healthy for us. Our EGO state says that if we leave or quit then we are a failure or have failed. So instead of moving on, we stay the same because of this false belief from our EGO that to stay is safer, to keep going despite all the signs saying it isn’t working is better than trying something new, that what is known is safer than the unknown.

This is not always a healthy belief to have and keeps us small and imprisoned in the illusion of fear.  The most successful people have failed more times than most have even attempted, and they walk away when it no longer feels right.

There are times to stay and there are times to quit. This is where we need to challenge if this is our EGO state, a belief and fear that is keeping us in situations.

What am I afraid of?

Am I afraid to move on?

Do I fear failure?

Do I fear judgement from myself and others?

Do I believe that I don’t deserve anything better?

Let me say here that I get it.  I stayed in a relationship that I knew very early on wasn’t right for me, with a man who cheated because I was scared.

Scared that people would judge me a loser for it not working.

Scared people would think I was a quitter.

Scared that I was a failure.

Such bullshit!

When I did leave nobody thought that of me, and if they did, it was none of my business. Looking back now I am really grateful for that relationship as it changed me and challenged many beliefs I had and made me adjust the path I was on, onto the path that felt far better for me. 

I was no longer in energetic alignment to that relationship.  It was the best decision to move away from it. It meant that I gave myself permission to say yes to me, and to learn discernment and to follow my intuition and leave other friendships and situations that were no longer in alignment for me.

I no longer see failure as a bad thing. 

It is an opportunity to learn, to grow and to readjust your course.

It is an opportunity to invite something better into your life, something that is more in alignment to your energy and what you are needing.

It is an opportunity to follow what lights you up, what feels good.

It is an opportunity to say yes to you.

You truly are magnificent.

Winter Solstice

As we head into the darkness of the shortest day and longest night of winter and winter solstice, many people at the moment are feeling a disconnection from themselves and the world around them, as they resist turning in to that darkness within.

Many are feeling or living like they are an island, separate and in pain mentally and emotionally. This disconnection was either forced upon them through changes from the universe outside of their control or a choice to disconnect out of fear using the excuse of protecting themselves.

This disconnection can show itself in the form of anxiety or heightened states of stress within your body and nervous system, your inner critic is roaring within your head or feeling numb and not engaged with life.

The reason for this feeling of isolation is for you to reconnect at a higher frequency to your own truth and wisdom and for you to decide how you want to live your life moving forward. It is time to go into your darkness and be.

If you have been forced to change, then know that the way you had been living (acting, being) was not for your highest good.

It is a redirection to get back in your own and proper lane, to reconnect to our inner wisdom and soul truths.  

We all have a unique blueprint on how we live, our values, why we do things, our personalities, our gifts, our bodies and what and how we love and live life. Many have stepped away from that blueprint, putting others views and judgments ahead of their own, dishonouring their unique expression and not living their authentic life. There is a realigning and a dropping away of what is not good for us to live this blueprint fully.

When we are living our life according to our programming or what is expected of us, to please others, to be liked or to fit in, not honouring our own truth and our own being, the anxiety grows, the self-doubt grows, self-hatred increases and our ability to feel any positive emotions diminishes.   

The more we step away from our true connection, the greater the gap between our unique and authentic self and trying to be something or someone we are not, the more pain we will feel.

The anxiety is showing you that you are off course.

It is time to stop comparing ourselves to others, stop trying to fit into something that actually doesn’t exist, believe we are in competition with everyone around us and instead be ourselves fully, allow others to be who they are, to have compassion in our hearts and have the courage to not always be liked but to honour who we are and the life we want to live.

There is a call to reconnect at a much higher, pure and authentic level, to ourselves and those around us. When we are connected to ourselves, we can connect to others from a beautiful and loving space. After all we can only met people as far as we have met ourselves.

As the light stars to come back after solstice, now is important to pause, just like Mother Nature does this time of year; to celebrate what you have achieved since March Equinox and to be ready for the change in season and how you want to live for the next 6 months.

What will you create?

What are the possibilities of your life? 

This pause gives you clarity as to what you may be wanting in your future. 

Be brave and journey into your shadow, your deepest truths, of death, rebirth and renewal and the promise of spring and summer.

It is a time to remember, you truly are magnificent.

CYCLES

As we head into Winter here in Melbourne, I was reminded today about cycles.

Now there are obvious cycles that we can all see or know about, like the changes of the season (especially here in Melbourne), day and night, the moon becoming full and cycling into new and of course women’s menstrual cycles.

We also have cycles during the day where we are more energised and have less energy, where we are more receptive to learning something new and doing exercise.

During the month we have highs and lows.

Our moods often follow a cycle of feeling good and sociable (or creative, energised, inspired, productive etc) and then we have lows where we don’t want to do much, maybe are a bit grumpy, quiet, self-reflective or needing to be more internal and quiet.

Often when we are in those down cycles or moods we hate that time and feeling, because society has said that to be worthy and of value we are meant to be busy and productive all the time.

Bullshit!

What if instead of judging it, we allowed it?

Rather than resisting it, we stepped into it.

What if those down times, the winter period, the need to go internal is a great thing and is there to support us?

We are not meant to be on the go, be productive, on the high cycle all the time.

This is when people experience burn out, adrenal fatigue, anxiety, overwhelm and stress.

We need the down time for recovery, to find balance and our centre, to give the body time to get the adrenaline and stress hormones out of our bodies. This can also be a time of thinking, self-reflection and percolating new ideas, of accessing our inner wisdom to then be ready to take the steps of action on the up cycle.

Even in the depths of winter or that dark night of the soul or feeling alone, it will not last forever.

Like all things in nature, nothing stays the same and there is always change, a death and rebirth.

Rather than resisting it, it is time to allow it and work with it.

These last few weeks have been challenging for many. I see you and honour you. If you need help reach out.

Honour your natural cycles within you. Accept it and use it to your advantage. Winter is just as important as Summer.

Always remember that you truly are magnificent.