Bypassing our Negativity

Many years ago I met a women who was proud that she was a really positive person. It was one of the very first things she said to me. She wore it like a badge of honour and looked down on people who were negative and believed that by not acknowledging the negative that it did not exist.  

The funny thing is though, she didn’t really act like she was happy, nor positive other than the words she spoke.  Being sensitive, I could feel her energy and she was not radiating joy and happiness. In fact her energy wasn’t positive at all.  

I got talking to her and she shared that her father had recently passed away.  I asked her how she was. At first she started sprouting all the cliché positive stuff when someone passes.  I touched her on the shoulder and I made a comment that yes, even though those sentiments are all true, it is still sad when someone you love passes on and the human part of us feels really sad when that happens and it is ok to feel that grief.

She broke down.

She hadn’t allowed herself to grieve, because of this positive bullshit belief she had going on. She used positivity as a shield, a brick wall, as she thought that she couldn’t get hurt and she wouldn’t have to feel.

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel any negative emotions, we call it bypassing.

This is not a healthy response for many reasons. 

When crappy things happen, if we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling and rather stuff the emotions down (often using things like food, drugs, alcohol, sex, excessive exercise etc) we suppress the emotions. This does not mean that those emotions do not exist.  The body and unconscious are storing these emotions, until a time when you are either ready to deal with them, or you are forced to deal with them. Something happens that all those suppressed emotions come up.  Often this something is totally unrelated and can be quite minor or it can be a big thing that seems even bigger because of the underlying issues.

Everybody suppresses emotions.

Many are supressing because they don’t want to feel.

We spend so much time and energy trying to not feel.

We are terrified of our emotions, because we may feel out of control, they often feel so big and overwhelming and many have not been encourage to express their emotions as children, so they have no idea how to feel them as adults.

When we do not want to feel the negative, we also don’t feel the positives as deeply either.

We can become numb and life losses its colour.

Here is the thing. 

The quicker you feel it, the quicker it moves through you and dissipates and you can move on.

When you feel it and it moves through you, you do not store it negatively in your body, as it has already been expressed.

We need to stop judging our emotions and start seeing them as a guidance system and start to allow ourselves to feel them.

Now I am not suggesting that you have a pity party and wallow around in your negative crap and wear that shit like a jacket of negativity. That is far from helpful. It is ok to feel the emotion, without judgement, let it move through your body and then you are able to move into higher states of being this way. 

The only way is through. 

Our emotions are beautiful.

Our emotions are powerful.

Our emotions allow us to shift our consciousness.

We are emotional beings and our emotions are a gift. 

If you need help with your emotional intelligence or baggage, book a session and lets start getting you back to centre and in your power.

You truly are magnificent.

Your body is always listening.

There is much emphasis on food and nutrition, and rightly so, but there is a huge component of health and well-being that also has a huge impact. This component?

Our minds.

Our mindset.

Our beliefs.

Our thoughts.

Putting it simply if your beliefs and thoughts are crap, then your wellbeing and life usually are too.

You see our body is constantly listening. What your dominate thoughts and beliefs are, what you feed your subconscious, is your truth.

My Life is crap. True.

Life is hard. True.

I am not worthy. True.

As well as positive like.

I am good enough. True.

I am smart. True.

Money comes to me easily. True.

So how does our beliefs and thoughts affect us?

The ruler of the body is the subconscious mind. It is in charge of all the automatic functions of the body.  Digestion, your heat beating, your breathing, circulation of your blood, the making of hormones, assimilation, elimination of waste products and so much more.  It holds and stores memories, emotions and trauma. It is in charge of our instincts and our habits. It has resources at its disposal to keep us alive, to build and repair our bodies. It is attached to the universal mind or quantum field and has infinite possibilities and power at its disposal.  It works whether we are asleep or awake.

The subconscious mind does not think.

It does not judge.

It does not reject.

It uses exactly what it is given by the conscious mind.

The ruler of the sub conscious mind is the conscious mind. The two are constantly talking and responding to each other.  

Our conscious mind perceives, reasons, chooses, rejects and judges. It gives us the power to think, to know, to feel.  It gathers information from our external environment, as well as from our bodies and our subconscious mind, from our senses and we use our reasoning power to make sense of it, to judge, reject or accept.

If we accept a thought, idea or belief, then it is carried to the subconscious mind to be acted on.

It doesn’t matter if that thought, idea or belief is positive or negative, if the conscious mind accepts it, then it goes into the subconscious.

A lot of these beliefs and patterns and thoughts we learnt, constructed, inherited, witnessed or experienced are from childhood, so we often have no idea what they are or you may be fully aware of them.

An example of this is when you were at school, a teacher made a comment or laughed at your art work not being very good.  You created this belief that you suck at art.  So this belief your conscious mind has chosen to accept goes through to the sub conscious. All the thoughts in your head are about how bad you are at art, how people laugh at you if you create anything, so you believe that you’re not creative.  Then as an adult you want to try some new creative pursuits, but the thoughts in your head are saying you are not creative, because the pattern in your body is that when you try to be creative you have a fear reaction due to what you experienced as a kid with emotions like shame, humiliation, frustration etc thrown in for good measure. It doesn’t feel good. So you stop or never try to be creative.

If you are constantly telling yourself that you can’t do something, or you are always sick, or you are unlucky in love or whatever else you tell yourself, guess what?  You are right and you will go looking for validation of that belief, because the body is always listening.

The good news is we can change patterns, ideas and thoughts, therefore changing the subconscious too.

It starts with awareness.

What are you saying to yourself?

What do you believe?

What do you often say?

What stories do you tell?

It starts with changing our thoughts and perceptions.

It starts with challenging all your beliefs and thoughts.

You are not your thoughts.

You can change your beliefs.

This work is powerful and empowering.

I love helping people shift out of their crap, and showing them where their power lies.

When we start to address, challenge and change our perceptions, life also starts to change.  When we become aware of our beliefs, stop believing our thoughts, get help (because it is so much easier for someone to help us in this work) life becomes so much easier.

Because you are worthy of being happy, but you have to choose it.

You have to make the steps to change. Click on the book now button to start to thrive in your life.

This work has changed my life, so I know how powerful it is.

You truly are magnificent.

Anger and Grief

Many I have spoken to are feeling a combination of anger and grief.

Anger at the injustice of the virus and the changes forced upon us.

Anger at the poor communication and leadership at the head of our country.

Anger at the messages that the economy is more important than human lives.

Anger at some people not being responsible and putting others in danger and the disregard for our fellow human beings.

Anger at the loss of businesses, jobs, salary and wages and security.

So much anger.

Then along comes grief.

Grief around the changes forced upon us.

Grief at the realisation of how much of an illusion we were under.

Grief on being isolated and away from friends and family.

Grief for a loss of routine and the way we were living.

Grief at the loss of our perceived safety and security.

Grief of not knowing what is next.

These type of feeling and emotions are the ones that we usually try really hard not to engage in. 

They are so uncomfortable.

Now we are being forced to slow down and to start listening and processing these emotions.

This is not a bad thing, even though it may feel really terrible at the moment.

We are feeling angry because we feel out of control and frustrated.

We are feeling grief to release what we no longer need.

Whatever you are feeling is ok. It is going to change throughout the day. Allow and accept how you are feeling.

It is in the resistance that we start to suffer.

If you need to cry, cry.

If you need to yell, then yell into a pillow.

If you need to vent, then vent.

If you need to move your body, move your body.

If you need to sit with it, then sit.

We are being asked to self soothe and not many people know how to do this, so start by being kind to yourself.

When you are ready, some self-reflection is a great way to move through the emotions and to gain wisdom.

Anger is an opportunity. Anger means that you are not understanding something.

Look at where and what you are angry about and see if there is an opportunity.

What are you not understanding?

Could you do something like write to your local MP, start a side business that you have been dreaming about for years, reach out and help a neighbour?

Grief needs to be processed by you alone and at your own time.

Some self-reflection questions for this could be

What am I needing or ready to let go of?

What is the lesson here for me?

The quicker we can move to acceptance, the quicker we can end our own suffering and be able to move forward in a calmer and more relaxed manner.

As always remember,

You truly are magnificent.

Winter Solstice

As we head into the darkness of the shortest day and longest night of winter and winter solstice, many people at the moment are feeling a disconnection from themselves and the world around them, as they resist turning in to that darkness within.

Many are feeling or living like they are an island, separate and in pain mentally and emotionally. This disconnection was either forced upon them through changes from the universe outside of their control or a choice to disconnect out of fear using the excuse of protecting themselves.

This disconnection can show itself in the form of anxiety or heightened states of stress within your body and nervous system, your inner critic is roaring within your head or feeling numb and not engaged with life.

The reason for this feeling of isolation is for you to reconnect at a higher frequency to your own truth and wisdom and for you to decide how you want to live your life moving forward. It is time to go into your darkness and be.

If you have been forced to change, then know that the way you had been living (acting, being) was not for your highest good.

It is a redirection to get back in your own and proper lane, to reconnect to our inner wisdom and soul truths.  

We all have a unique blueprint on how we live, our values, why we do things, our personalities, our gifts, our bodies and what and how we love and live life. Many have stepped away from that blueprint, putting others views and judgments ahead of their own, dishonouring their unique expression and not living their authentic life. There is a realigning and a dropping away of what is not good for us to live this blueprint fully.

When we are living our life according to our programming or what is expected of us, to please others, to be liked or to fit in, not honouring our own truth and our own being, the anxiety grows, the self-doubt grows, self-hatred increases and our ability to feel any positive emotions diminishes.   

The more we step away from our true connection, the greater the gap between our unique and authentic self and trying to be something or someone we are not, the more pain we will feel.

The anxiety is showing you that you are off course.

It is time to stop comparing ourselves to others, stop trying to fit into something that actually doesn’t exist, believe we are in competition with everyone around us and instead be ourselves fully, allow others to be who they are, to have compassion in our hearts and have the courage to not always be liked but to honour who we are and the life we want to live.

There is a call to reconnect at a much higher, pure and authentic level, to ourselves and those around us. When we are connected to ourselves, we can connect to others from a beautiful and loving space. After all we can only met people as far as we have met ourselves.

As the light stars to come back after solstice, now is important to pause, just like Mother Nature does this time of year; to celebrate what you have achieved since March Equinox and to be ready for the change in season and how you want to live for the next 6 months.

What will you create?

What are the possibilities of your life? 

This pause gives you clarity as to what you may be wanting in your future. 

Be brave and journey into your shadow, your deepest truths, of death, rebirth and renewal and the promise of spring and summer.

It is a time to remember, you truly are magnificent.

CYCLES

As we head into Winter here in Melbourne, I was reminded today about cycles.

Now there are obvious cycles that we can all see or know about, like the changes of the season (especially here in Melbourne), day and night, the moon becoming full and cycling into new and of course women’s menstrual cycles.

We also have cycles during the day where we are more energised and have less energy, where we are more receptive to learning something new and doing exercise.

During the month we have highs and lows.

Our moods often follow a cycle of feeling good and sociable (or creative, energised, inspired, productive etc) and then we have lows where we don’t want to do much, maybe are a bit grumpy, quiet, self-reflective or needing to be more internal and quiet.

Often when we are in those down cycles or moods we hate that time and feeling, because society has said that to be worthy and of value we are meant to be busy and productive all the time.

Bullshit!

What if instead of judging it, we allowed it?

Rather than resisting it, we stepped into it.

What if those down times, the winter period, the need to go internal is a great thing and is there to support us?

We are not meant to be on the go, be productive, on the high cycle all the time.

This is when people experience burn out, adrenal fatigue, anxiety, overwhelm and stress.

We need the down time for recovery, to find balance and our centre, to give the body time to get the adrenaline and stress hormones out of our bodies. This can also be a time of thinking, self-reflection and percolating new ideas, of accessing our inner wisdom to then be ready to take the steps of action on the up cycle.

Even in the depths of winter or that dark night of the soul or feeling alone, it will not last forever.

Like all things in nature, nothing stays the same and there is always change, a death and rebirth.

Rather than resisting it, it is time to allow it and work with it.

These last few weeks have been challenging for many. I see you and honour you. If you need help reach out.

Honour your natural cycles within you. Accept it and use it to your advantage. Winter is just as important as Summer.

Always remember that you truly are magnificent.