As we head into what is often a crazy time of year, it is important to remember that we always have a choice in the way we respond. Often when we are being challenged, we are triggered or feeling stressed and overwhelmed, we have this perception of not having any choices and we react from this place of lack.
Our stress means we often become super focused on the problem and reactive to whatever has triggered us. I often hear from my clients that they hate the feeling of being really reactive and want to know of ways that they can help themselves to become more responsive rather than reactive.
I use a really simple technique when I become triggered and I have taught this technique to many clients. It is called the precious pause. Here is what you do.
Pause.
Take a deep breath in.
Exhale making an audible sigh. This lets your nervous system know that it is safe.
Repeat until you feel present in your body. I usually say around 3 times, but you can do as many as you like or feels right.
Simple right?
From this place you can start to observe your body, your reactions, your projections and how you are feeling. By observing your own energy, you can learn what your reactions and triggers are and you can start to retrain yourself to start responding rather than reacting. This allows you to take back you power. It also allows you to take a step back and see the different options that are present for you.
It is important to remember too, that you are human and sometimes even the most Zen of people will react in a way that they don’t like.
Forgive yourself.
It is not like a switch that you can switch on and you become a monk that always knows how to respond in any given moment. (Oh and by the way even the Dali Lama gets angry and reacts, so be kind to yourself) It really is a journey, and each moment you can learn something new.
We often feel obliged this time of year to perhaps do things that we don’t really want to do or hang out with people who are really not very nice. If you don’t want to do something, then please say No.
No is a complete sentence.
No explanation necessary.
As always, remember,
You truly are magnificent.
